Unforeseeable Forces
by jerseygirl7756
Summary: Spencer is really not happy with her life. Her girlfriend of over three years is making her life miserable, what needs to change?
1. Chapter 1

**hey guys, new story obviously LOL. its originally posted on but i thought i would post it here too. tell me what you think :) **

**Title:** Unforeseeable Forces

**Author:** Jerseygirl7756

**Pairing:** You're gonna have to read to find out.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**Chapter 1**

**Spencer's POV**

I'm standing on the shore, looking out into the beautiful ocean as I drown out all of the people around me laughing and having fun in the sun. They're happy. What is it that they do and I don't? Why is it that everybody can be happy but me? I turn my head up towards the sky as I contemplate that question, as I have many times before. But every single time, I come up with nothing.

I have been in a relationship for over three years and all it does is make me miserable. We were happy for about the first year, maybe even less than that But all she does is put me down and walk all over me. And I let her. Why the hell do I let her? Simple. I love her.

We have our good moments, trust me on that. But all we do is fight over the smallest things in the world. It's like she can do whatever she wants but I can't do shit. And guess what? I let her be like that. I just suck it up and go with the punches. Literally.

I've been emotionally, verbally, and physically abused for years. And I let her. Because I love her. That's what I keep telling myself. But in reality, is it really true? Or am I just forcing myself to try to feel something that left me so long ago?

"Beautiful day isn't it?" I heard a soft voice from my left, making me drop my head and turn. I didn't even realize somebody was standing next to me.

"Yeah, it really is" I breathed out as I looked at the girl that approached me. Breathtaking. Brown hair up in a ponytail with her bangs framing the side of her face and sunglasses. I quickly gave her the once over and noticed that even with a glance, she was probably the most beautiful woman I've seen. She had on a white tank top, with short white and pink shorts showing off her nicely toned and tanned legs.

"Are you alone?" she asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, sometimes I just like to get away from my life and just be…if that makes sense" I said, turning my gaze back to the ocean in front of me. I felt calm. Talking to this complete beautiful stranger didn't make me feel uncomfortable at all. Just…peaceful.

"That makes complete sense because I do the same thing sometimes. I'm Ashley by the way" she said, sticking her hand out towards me.

"Beautiful name. I'm Spencer, it's nice to meet you" I replied with a real smile as I took her soft warm hand into mine.

"Thank you, I like your name too, its unique" she replied, blushing a little as she ducked her head down.

"Aww, are you blushing?" I asked, laughing softly. What am I doing… Am I flirting?

"Nobody has ever made me blush so easily" she said as I tugged my sunglasses to the top of my head.

"Well, nobody has ever approached me like you have" I said shrugging my shoulders, throwing her a smirk.

"You're kidding right? Seriously?" she asked shocked, her too tugging her sunglasses up. Blue met brown and I froze.

"Uh…no actually I am serious" I said clearing my throat and looking down.

"Well, are you single?" she asked softly.

"Why, are you interested?" I asked smiling at her, making her once again blush and duck her head before looking back up to me.

"Yeah, actually I am" she said seriously, staring me in the eyes. Wow. So was not expecting that answer. It made my breath catch in my throat and my heart beat a little faster.

"I act-" I started to say, but was cut off from this guy a little ways away calling out to her.

"Yo Ash! Let's go!" he said, before turning towards the other people he was with, which I'm guessing were her friends.

"Ugh I'm gonna fucking kill him" she whispered under her breath, probably not meant for me to hear but I did and I couldn't help but chuckle. She was adorable.

"Sorry about that. As you can see, I have to go. Do you think I can get your number?" she asked sweetly, pulling out her cell phone.

Oh God. She actually wants my number. I know I shouldn't give it to her. I know I'm gonna get in trouble for it later. But right now it doesn't matter. For some reason, I don't care.

"Oh yeah, that would be fine. You can call or text whenever you want, you know…if you want" I said shyly as I punched my number into her phone.

"Oh, I definitely want" she said smiling at me, making me blush this time.

"It was really nice meeting you, Ashley" I said as I stuck my hand out again for her to shake.

"You too, Spencer. I'll talk to you soon" she said, winking at me before turning and running towards her friends.

I watched her as far as I could see. Until she disappeared with her friends. I turned back to the ocean and turned my head back towards the sky before taking a deep breath and turning to walk back home. I should probably be dreading what is about to happen when I get home. But I didn't. I still felt giddy from talking with Ashley and I can't explain it. What the hell am I feeling? More importantly…What the hell just happened and what am I going to do?

--


	2. Chapter 2

**thank you all for reading and commenting :) heres the next chapter, enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of SON**

**Chapter 2**

**Spencer's POV**

Throughout my ten minute walk home, I contemplated yet another question. If I should call my girlfriend and tell her I'm home…or just hop in the shower and call her afterwards. Actually, I think I'll just text her so she isn't pissed off at me for it later which is bound to happen. As I walk into my apartment I take a deep breath as I kick off my sandals and slowly make my way towards my bathroom. I feel tired for some reason. Maybe because of all of the thinking I've done today. I tend to do that a lot though. Just sit and think about where I am in my life and why I'm letting her control me and run my life for me. I take another deep breath as I pull out my cell phone, deciding to send her a text right now before I forget with all of the thinking I'm doing. Sometimes I wish my brain would just shut up.

**I'm home now, gonna hop in the shower okay? **

I turned on the water and waited for the whole bathroom to steam up and as I was stripping out of my clothes, my phone vibrated.

**Alright babe, I'll be over in about an hour. Love you. **

I sighed, once again and got into the shower. Letting the hot water cascade down my body. I closed my eyes and let my mind wonder. You're probably wondering why me and my girlfriend don't live together after being together for over three years right?

Simple really.

Been there.

Done that.

It didn't work.

She was living here for free, freeloading on everything. I had to pay for rent and groceries by myself. Well, my mom helps me out a lot which I am very thankful for, but that's a story for another time. We got into a huge fight one night because I told her I needed her to help me pay to help out and she pretty much flipped. Saying her family was right about me and I always throw that in her face. Which hurt me because I have never thrown anything in her face like that and honestly, if it wasn't for me she wouldn't be where she is right now. I have given her everything and yet she still isn't thankful for any of it. So she moved out.

Oh yeah, her family pretty much talks about me behind my back all the time. Saying I'm lesbian and it seems like I'm into her because I don't have a boyfriend and all that shit. As far as they know we're only best friends because she's 'straight'. I keep telling her if she's dating me she's at least bisexual, but she denies it. So now I live alone again, which I'm happy for but then again she is always here anyways so what's the point?

I wonder what it would be like if I just finally let go and moved on without ever looking back. Would I be happy? Would I be with someone that actually treats me the way that I need to be? I'm pretty sure the answer is yes. But how will I ever know if I don't grow some balls and stick up for myself?

"Spence, you're still in the shower??" I heard from behind the door along with loud knocking, effectively jarring me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry I must have lost track of time" I replied. Understatement. I still haven't even begun to wash my hair.

"Ooookay, well hurry up. I'm hungry" she said, making me roll my eyes. I hate when she rushes me.

"Alright, alright. I'll be right out" I lied. I planned on taking my time.

As I wash my hair I let my mind wonder yet again, only this time about Ashley. What did she even see in me? I mean, I'm nothing special trust me on that. Nobody has so much as looked at me when we're out places. They only approach her, and flirt with her. I'm invisible. But today, I wasn't. Every single time we go out, somebody approaches her. I'm hoping that doesn't happen tonight, but then again that's just wishful thinking.

I hopped out of the shower and threw on my favorite pair of ripped jeans and a t-shirt, leaving my hair down to air dry. I made sure I had my chap stick, eyeliner, cell phone, and wallet before heading out to my front door to slip on my sandals, looking for any sign of my girlfriend.

"Carmen?" I yelled out. Hearing no response I made my way to my balcony and saw her leaning against the railing, talking on her cell phone. I slid the door open and she turned to me, ending her phone call and smiling at me.

"Hey babe" she said sweetly, walking over to hug me and give me a quick peck on the lips.

"What do you feel like eating?" I asked, returning the embrace.

"How about pizza?" she asked pulling back and walking into my living room.

"Umm I'm not really in the mood for pizza. Chinese?" I suggested instead.

"Oh yeah, that sounds better. Let's go then" she said walking to the door.

"I seriously hate your car, Spencer. It's so ugly" she said getting into the passenger seat making me once again roll my eyes at her. I do that a lot.

"Yes, Carmen I know. You tell me every chance you get. I don't see what's not to like, I mean come on, it's a beautiful car and I love it" I said, starting the engine. I mean come on, who wouldn't like a 2007 Charger?

"Yeah, whatever Spence. When I get a car it's gonna be better than this" she said, reaching over to turn up the music to her music, music I personally wasn't a huge fan of.

"Can we please listen to something I like for once?" I asked, glancing over at her as I drove.

"No because it's all about me, I wanna listen to this" she said playfully, but I knew she was serious. "Plus your music sucks Spence, I don't even call it music" she said, looking out the window singing to the rap song that was playing on the radio. I'm more of a rocker girl, but she hates it so we always listen to her music. The rest of the car ride was silent, which I really didn't mind.

"Are you gonna pay this time?" I asked once we got out of the car, already knowing the answer.

"Uh, no…" she said, looking at me like I should know that.

"Alright, just thought I would ask" I breathed out as I held the door open for her.

"Well Jesus Spencer I just won't eat if its that much of a problem to pay for me" she said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Carmen, seriously it doesn't matter. I was just asking because once in a while it would be nice to not always have to pay for everything we do"

"No its okay, really. I'm not even hungry anymore" she said, kind of turning away from me. Fuck I hate when she gets like this, she's like a little kid.

"You know what? Fine. Don't eat. But I'm telling you I will pay for you so you might as well order something" I said walking the rest of the way to the counter, looking at the menu as she sulked behind me.

"Ahh, look what we have here" I heard the girl behind the counter say, instantly recognizing the voice.

"Ashley? You work here? I've never seen you in here before" I said, smiling widely as I talked to her. She makes me giddy.

"That's probably because I just started working here last week" she laughed a little, turning her attention to the girl behind me.

"Oh I'm sorry. Carmen, this is Ashley. Ashley this is Carmen, my-"

"Girlfriend" Carmen cut in, nodding at her before giving me a questioning stare. "How do you two know each other?" She asked, still staring at me.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Carmen. And I met Spencer here at the beach this morning" she said giving me a nose crinkling smile which made my heart rate go up, but I could see a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"That's…great" she said unenthusiastically. Once again, I rolled my eyes.

"So what would you guys like to order?" Ashley asked, getting back into work mode.

As soon as we sat down at a table she started with the questions just like I knew she would.

"Why didn't you tell me you met her?" she asked seriously. She was trying to hide her anger but it was pretty obvious to me.

"Because it didn't come up Carm. I was going to tell you" I said, starting to eat my yummy Chinese food.

"Yeah right you were. What are you hiding?" she asked accusingly.

"Oh my God Carmen. Are you kidding me?? I am NOT hiding anything and I'm not about to fight with you in public so I suggest you drop it" I whispered harshly, looking up to find a tall guy making his way towards us, his eyes on Carmen. Great. Here it goes. Let the fun begin. I quickly glanced at Ashley to find her helping another customer and sighed.

"Hey beautiful" the guy said once he approached her, completely ignoring me like I wasn't even there. And I sat there and watched her. I watched her turn to look at him and smile big once she saw him and introduced herself.

"Heyyy. I'm Carmen" her too ignoring me. I once again chanced a glance at Ashley and found her staring right at me and I didn't look away. She quickly turned her eyes to Carman and the other guy and then raised her eyebrow at me. I just shrugged my shoulders sadly and turned back to my plate.

"Oh, Frank this is my friend Spencer, Spence this is Frank" I heard her introduce us and I stared at her with my mouth open. Was she serious right now? Did she really just introduce me as her friend?

"Hi Spencer, it's nice to meet you" Frank said, reaching his hand across the table to shake mine but I ignored him and kept my attention on Carmen.

"Fuck you Carmen. Find your own way home" I said grabbing my stuff and abruptly standing up making my way towards Ashley with tears in my eyes.

"Spence what's wrong?" she asked right away, concern lacing her voice.

"When do you get off?" I asked, ignoring her question. I watched as she looked at the clock behind her.

"In about 2 minutes" she said, returning her gaze to me, concern never leaving her features.

"You wanna go somewhere with me?" I asked hesitantly, looking back to Carmen, realizing she didn't even care that I stormed off. She was just sitting here laughing with the bastard.

"Yeah, anywhere" she said as she began walking towards the back to get her stuff I presume.

She was in and out within 20 seconds and we both made our way to the door and to my car.

"Is this your car??" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah, why do you like it?" I asked laughing at the look on her face.

"Do I like it?? Spence this car is awesome!" she yelled, getting into the passenger seat, looking around the interior making me smile inside. I turned once more towards Carmen and saw her look at me, then to Ashley in my car then glare at me. I rolled my eyes at her and got into the car starting the engine, rap music blaring out of the speakers.

"You mind if I change the station?" Ashley asked sweetly, turning it down.

"Oh please do" I said laughing. She reached over and started going through the stations until she stopped on one and began singing the song. It was my favorite radio station. I turned to look at her, kind of shocked.

"What?" she asked confused, still singing the song.

"Nothing, Ash. Nothing at all" I said smiling softly as I made my way through traffic and to the beach, ignoring the constant vibrating of my cell phone in my pocket.

_Desperate for changing  
Starving for truth  
Closer to where I started  
Chasing after you_

I'm falling even more in love with you  
letting go of all I've held onto  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

_--_--


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the MAJOR delay in uploading new chapters. This story is complete, so no writer's block will get in the way ha. Just a matter of time, ill update as much as i can. **

**This one is a little short.. Hope i still have your attention :)**

**Author: Jerseygirl7756**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything SoN. **

Chapter 3

Spencer's POV

We've been sitting in the sand for about five minutes, facing the beautiful ocean. In silence. I'm grateful for it because I don't know exactly what to say to her, if I'm even ready to say anything at all.

"Do you wanna talk about what happened back there?" Ashley asked softly from my right. I took a deep breath and drew my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

"Just…Carmen being Carmen I guess" I said softly, turning to look at her and saw her eyebrows raise in confusion.

"What do you mean?" she asked softly. I was quiet for a minute, not exactly sure how I should answer that question. There are so many things to that statement that I'm not even sure if saying something right now is healthy. We just met, I don't want to bombard her with the problems in my life, but I feel like I can tell her without her judging me.

"It happens all the time. She acts like I'm not even there, or that I'm just her friend. I mean you saw how jealous she got when she found out I knew you" I said, raising my eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, saw that. And I'm confused as to why she was like that" she said, looking at me.

"That's how she is Ash" I said letting out a deep breath. "She gets pissed at me when I talk to other people, but as you saw back at the diner, she can do whatever she wants and act like she's single. I got tired of it, said 'fuck you' to her and stormed out, obviously" I said smiling softly.

"Seriously? Shit man, if you where my girl I'd be showing you off to everybody as my girlfriend and not act like that. I would never do that to someone. How long have you been together?" she asked, I could tell she was trying not to pry. She was just curious.

"Over 3 years…3 years of hell is more like it" I laughed bitterly.

"Then why are you with her, Spencer?" she asked me seriously. I sat in silence again, not sure of the answer myself. Why am I still with her?

"Tell me about yourself, Ash" I whispered, completely ignoring her last question. I wasn't ready to talk about it yet, and I think she understood that.

"Let's see. My name is Ashley Davies. I have one sister named Kyla, you'll get to meet her someday. She's pretty much the only real family I have if I don't count my friends. Aiden and Madison are my best friends, they've been dating for a while now. You'll get to meet them too. As you probably figured out by now, I'm gay" she said with a shocked expression on her face which made me laugh and her smile in return. "I'm 19 years old, single. And currently pursuing a beautiful girl that is off limits" she said looking sadly at me before turning back to the ocean.

"Who said I'm off limits?" I whispered softly, making her head whip around and stare me in the eyes., confusion written in all over her face with a hint of hope. "I'm breaking up with Carmen" I said, tearing my eyes away from her. "She's probably waiting at my apartment. She's probably called me a thousand times. And I know we're gonna get into this huge fight when I get home" I said sighing sadly. Something bad is gonna

happen, I know it.

"Then don't go home yet. Let's go to my place and watch a movie or talk or something" she said hopefully, biting her lip. It made me want to kiss her.

"Yeah…" I breathed out, looking thoughtful. "I think that would be nice" I said finally, turning to her with a smile.

"Great!" she said, standing up with a huge smile, reaching her hand out to help me up. When we got to my car, I went to the passenger side and opened her door for her. That's something I haven't done in a while, and it made me feel good.

"Why thank you, my kind lady" Ashley said, making me take a bow. She started laughing hysterically as she stuck her tongue at me.

"Just get in the car Ash! And you're welcome" I said laughing along with her. She was the cutest thing in the world. The car ride was silent for the most part, both of us in our own thoughts. Besides her giving me directions to her place. What was in store for tonight, I don't know. But what I did know, was I didn't have a care in the world, I was just glad to be with Ashley.

_I wanna see a revival tonight_

_Lord, let there be a revival yeah _

_I need to see a revival tonight oh_

_Wanna see a revival oohh_

_Why am I so blind with my eyes wide open? yeah_

_Now I need someone_

_Let this dark night be done oh_

_I need you so, it's sin_

_Put an end to my suffering_

_I wanna see a revival tonight_

_Lord, there needs to be a revival._

**Revival by Soulsavers**


	4. Chapter 4

**drummergirl244: no I'm not from jersey, I wanted to go to school there so hence the SN lol thank you for your review :)**

Thank you to all of you who are liking my story, heres the next chapter, enjoy! :)

**Title: Unforeseeable Forces**

**Author: Jerseygirl7756**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything SoN. **

Chapter 4

Spencer's POV

"Welcome to my humble abode" Ashley exclaimed with a sweep of her arm once we walked into her apartment.

"Wow Ash, this is pretty nice" I said, taking in all my surroundings. When you walked in, the hallway with which I'm guessing the rooms and bathrooms were, was straight ahead, the kitchen was to the right and to the left was a spacious living room with a couch, a love seat and a coffee table, an entertainment center with a pretty good size flat screen T.V. and a pretty nice stereo with extra speakers hooked up around the room. I noticed some art and black and white photographs hung around the living room. She had class. I liked that.

"Do you live alone?" I asked.

"Yeah, I like it, I have my privacy" she said smiling widely at me. I wish I knew what it felt like to have privacy.

"Would you like something to eat or drink or anything? I'm pretty sure you're hungry since you didn't really get to eat your food earlier…" trailing off, looking at me sadly.

"I am kind of hungry but I can wait. For now, I just kinda wanna hang out you know? Forget about what's going on outside that door" I said pointing to her door, smiling a little.

"Okay that's cool with me, you wanna watch a movie or something? Maybe talk if you want?" she asked. I tilted my head to the side a little as I studied her. I was just about to answer her when her cell phone went off, making her close her eyes and sigh before apologizing to me.

"Hello?…wait, now?…well yeah, I have company…it would have just been nice if you guys called first…hold on for a second…" she said, putting her hand over the phone to address me. "Hey Spence, that guy Aiden I told you about earlier, you remember him?" she asked and continued once I nodded, "Well he's on the phone, and he's actually in my apartment building with Madison and Kyla bearing pizza and drinks. Do you think it's okay if we all hang out together?" she asked nervously.

"Of course, Ash. They're your friends, I don't mind at all" I said smiling at her to ease her nervousness. I thought it was sweet that she asked me if it was okay. I stood there quietly as she finished her phone conversation and as soon as she hung up she looked at me, once again looking apologetic.

"I'm really sorry Spence, I didn't know they were gonna come over and I know you wanted to hang out and stuff" she said, looking to the floor.

"Ash…" I said softly, stepping closer to her which made her look up at me. "Seriously, it's really okay. We can always talk another time. And thank you for including me in your plans" I said softly, never once looking away from her. "I just really…really don't want to go home right now…or ever" I laughed. She smiled at me and I knew she knew what I meant. She knew I didn't wanna go home and face a pissed off Carmen. She knew I didn't want to go home because even thought she didn't know what was coming, she somehow understood on some level.

"Well, you're welcome to stay as long as you want. I'm pretty sure we're all gonna be up all night anyways, watching movies and messing around. It's what usually happens when we all get together. And now I get to share it with you" she said smiling as she made her way to the door to let her friends in. I turned around and watched as the tall guy from earlier walked in, Aiden obviously, holding pizzas and then two girls walked in behind him, holding grocery bags.

"Guys, this is Spencer, the girl I met earlier at the beach. Spence, this is my sister Kyla and Madison" she introduced. Madison was a tall Latina girl, beautiful, but not my type. Kyla was shorter and had curly brown hair like Ashley. I could kind of see the resemblance. "

"And this is Aiden the guy that has the worst timing ever obviously" she said winking at me.

"Hey! How am I supposed to know not to interrupt?" he asked, before turning to me with a wide smile.

"It's nice to meet you Spencer" they all said, coming up to shake my hand.

As the night wore on, we all shared good memories and funny stories and I couldn't help but feel so carefree. I didn't have to worry about my cell going off because I left it in my car. And I didn't have to worry about Carmen right now, I just…let myself push her to the back of my mind and focus on the now.

I studied Ashley next to me as she threw her head back and laughed as Kyla said something funny and I couldn't help but stare openly at her. I didn't care if the others noticed. I didn't care about anything right now. She made me feel things. Things I shouldn't be feeling when I have a girlfriend. But after I go home and talk with Carmen, I will no longer have a girlfriend. And as of right now, I don't care what I do. I should act like I don't have a girlfriend right? Go with what I'm feeling. I wanted to kiss her. So badly. And right now, I don't have a care in the world. But it still doesn't make it right.

She looked at me, throwing me a wink and rubbing my thigh briefly before stood up to get more drinks. My heart rate sped up a little with that simple touch. Carmen can't even make me feel like that and I've been with her for over three years. I watched her until she disappeared in the kitchen before turning back to the rest of them, my eyes falling on Kyla as she watched me.

Busted. But I didn't care. Nor did I look away. She smiled at me and raised an eyebrow, nodding her head towards Ashley. I grinned at her and got up to meet Ashley in the kitchen. I watched her for a second, her back towards me as she prepared the drinks. I quietly walked towards her, stopping just a step behind her.

"You know, I feel things with you Ash…things I'm not supposed to be feeling" I said softly, making her jump and turn in surprise. I didn't even try to apologize, I just stared into her eyes and continued talking. Saying things I'm not supposed to be saying.

"You have treated me better in the last few hours than Carmen has in about two years…that says a lot doesn't it?" I said, sighing. Breaking eye contact with her, rubbing my forehead. Suddenly I felt her hands on each side of my face, tilting my head up to meet her eyes, pulling me forward a little bit, my hands coming to rest on her hip. She didn't say anything at first, just simply…stared at me with a look I couldn't quiet figure out.

"That says she has no idea what she has. No idea what she's losing. Spencer, I know I've only known you for a few hours, but it's been the best few hours I've had in a really long time" she whispered, her eyes darting down to my lips briefly.

"I can't even think about the things you have been going through, and something tells me it's worse than I think. And I know you'll tell me when you're ready. But you need to know, I will never treat you bad, ever. You of all people don't deserve that. In the last few hours hanging out with my friends, God Spencer…you've made my heart swell because I see you. I see the real you. And that makes me want you more" she said breathlessly. I stared at her in disbelief for a few seconds, before leaning in. My lips centimeters from hers and I felt her breath catch.

"I know I shouldn't be doing this since I have a girlfriend and all. But I can't help myself anymore, Ash. This moment is just too right to pass up" I whispered before closing the gap between us.

She gasped into my mouth, pulling my face closer to hers as I gripped her sides gently. I opened my mouth slightly to take her bottom lip in between mine, softly sucking and gently biting. She moaned into my mouth and I knew that's when I had to pull back. Otherwise everything else would get too complicated, and fast.

I gently pulled away from her, out breaths coming out as one. I slowly opened my eyes and was met with beautiful brown orbs smiling back at me.

"We need to talk later" I whispered, pecking her once more before stepping away from her completely and grabbing some drinks. Both of us making our way back into the living room. My head was still a mess. Everything going on all at once, I was having a brain overload. But I pushed it aside. Right now I just needed to live.

She made me feel happy, and at she gave me tingles everywhere. My lips were still burning from that kiss. My heart still beating rapidly. My hands were shaking. And it was all because of that one kiss with Ashley. And I've only known her for a matter of hours.

I can see myself fitting in perfectly with her and her friends. They made me feel welcome, not like some outsider, and I was grateful for that. I was looking forward to spending time with Ashley and her friends more often. I was looking forward to getting to know her better and maybe start something more than a friendship. I was looking forward to a lot of things, but I think I was mostly looking forward to being able to let go and live my life. The way I want to live it.

_And all the roads we have to walk along are winding_

_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_

_There are many things that I would_

_Like to say to you, but I don't know how_

_Cause maybe You're gonna be the one who saves me And after all_

_You're my Wonderwall_

_Today was gonna be the day_

_But they'll never throw it back to you_

_By now you should've somehow_

_Realized what you're not to doI don't believe that anybody_

_Feels the way I do About you now_

**Wonderwall by Oasis**


End file.
